What would possess a person to leave their children, meaning babies, home alone? That's a question that could be asked of Tricha Speights of Omaha, NE. She left her 2-year-old son and her 3-month-old daughter alone in their apartment. Two-year-olds are generally not the best baby-sitters, as seen in this instance.
While mommy was gone, the little boy sprayed bleach on the baby's face, causing first degree burns and possible vision damage. How's that suit you, mom? Way to go. Idiot parenting of the day award for you. Just look at the little guy; he clearly didn't know better.
What led this woman to think it would be fine for her to just leave such young children home by themselves? How long were they left and how often does this occur? The Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services should probably keep an extra close eye on this situation. While it doesn't really matter whether she left them to go get groceries or diapers or if she had to go find a fix, the fact remains that she is not a responsible parent.
Tricha Speights pled no contest to two misdemeanor counts of negligent child abuse and was sentenced to 18 months of probation, which seems to be the common sentence for child abuse or neglect cases in Nebraska. Do you think this is enough of a punishment? If authorities don't start cracking down on child abusers, how far will it get? How many children will die because DHHS can't keep up?
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Comments: 14
That said, when it gets to the point of leaving babies alone, I personally wouldn't want to trust the parent with the care of children again. But I always wonder, what if intervention happened before abuse occurred? What if there was some sort of community family network, where parents in an emergency situation could find child care, maybe on a sliding fee scale so everyone could afford child care. What if parents were educated about child care before they ever became parents, or at least given a basic education before leaving the hospital with a newborn baby. I think a lot of parents make mistakes out of desperation, and that can lead to a pattern of abuse and neglect. I don't know, but I do wonder, if simple services were readily available before there was a serious problem, maybe we would see better parenting. Maybe less kids would be in the foster system (where abuse is also very common). However, if lines are crossed, the child needs to be protected, even if that means the parent loses rights. And then, if there were less kids in foster care due to better overall parenting, we might be able to better screen for excellent foster parents, instead of handing children to people who take them solely for the money.
Also if you get things like welfare or WIC you have to watch a video about caring for your child and a nutritionist also makes sure you understand how to care for your child and what to give them. They make you take the pamphlets home with you as well.
I feel like parents who abuse their children have no hope. If they are even capable of doing it once then they will do it again, usually without any type of remorse.
I agree, foster parents should be examined closer, but with more and more children having to go into foster care, it's harder to have places for them to go. So, the foster agencies usually just make sure the foster parents are capable of taking in the children and providing the basics. Typically, a foster home is temporary so the foster parent(s) are less likely to treat the children as their own, or at least as their niece/nephew. From second hand experience (my mom was in foster care) its a hit or miss with foster parents, but usually, the group home type of foster care is far worse off for the children. It is highly likely the children will be abused either emotionally, physically, and even sexually.
It's a very sad world when our children cannot even feel safe, or feel like anyone cares for them.
As a mother of a beautiful daughter, I cannot even fathom these possibilities for my baby girl.
The innocence and well being of ALL children needs to be protected nowadays; it shouldn't have to be the way it is!!!
The consciousness of the world seriously needs to change, otherwise, things like this will continue.
On the subject of educating parents, I guess I was neglecting the fact that nurses do give some education about baby care. When my child was born, there was a mandatory 15 minute group meeting before discharge. We were also given a sheet of take home instructions, with information like take your child to the hospital if he/she has a fever exceeding 104. The information was to help parents get through the first few weeks. I guess to me, this just isn't enough. Yes I got through without becoming an abusive parent, but I had advantages many parents don't have. This is not to excuse abusive parents, but I truly believe child abuse could be more effectively prevented if intervention began before the abuse occurred. Parents need hope. When they feel hopeless, powerless, and unable to adequately provide,I believe it is much more likely for abuse or neglect to occur. Of course, I don't really know, these are just my thoughts, right or wrong.
Usually, in cases like these, the parent will be required to attend a number of parenting classes, but i'm seeing this (as being a requirement) happen less often than it used to.
There are places and organizations out there that are ready to help anyone in need, weather it be a place to go, jobs, money or health care, you just have to make an effort to get help.
I put drug addicts into a completely different category. I feel like they shouldn't have children or keep any children they already have until they get clean. When their mind is altered by drugs there is no possible way to adequately and completely take care of anyone else, much less themselves. especially when an individual is dependent on a substance.
unfortunately, my sister did get her child taken (nothing she did; she was being abused by the child's father and he failed a drug test) and is still in the process of getting him back. Sometimes the system can be very cruel and harsh towards parents who are actually doing everything hey can to better their own lives so that they are able to provide EVERYTHING, including safety and love, for their children. so, it really pisses me off to hear about parents who basically get a slap on the wrist when they have absolutely no intentions on trying to better things for the sake of their children. She has held a steady job and her own apartment after leaving him so she could have her child. She has never failed a drug test and still continues to take parenting classes even though its no longer required, but they refuse to even let her have him on the weekends. She only gets supervised visitation.
The agency is trying to justify why she can't have him by using the excuse that she's not married. I know MANY single parents that are doing an amazing job with their children!!!
So how are so many children being failed by the ones who are supposed to protect them when in other cases a mother who has proved beyond requirement that she loves her child and wants to be the best for them is still denied that?
I do agree with you. Some parents are simply unfit. And some parents would neer have been able to be good parents, no matter what help they receive. On the other hand, workin with families, I do sometimes see desperation. I don't condone abuse or neglect, and if I see it, or I have reason to suspect abuse or neglect, I absolutely will call CPS to protect the children. But I also believe most parents start out well meaning, but some go wrong somewhere along the way. I'm glad to be in a position to help a select few families. The kids I work with are at higher than average risk of abuse, not because of anything wrong with their parents, but because of the child's disability. I believe and hope that the children's risk of abuse is lessened by having quality services. The desperation I see in parents' faces at the outset of services decreases, and is usually replaced by confidence as parents learn skills in working with their children, and hope as they see improvement. I believe (maybe unrealistically) that these parents are less likely to abuse due to greater skill. But what of parents who have other stressors that don't entitle them to this help? I know there is some help, but honestly, some people have no idea how to access the help they need. And sometimes, the help isn't enough. Like your sister. I'm sure she wanted to be able to protect her kids from living in an abusive environment, but getting out of that situation is extremely difficult. Not only does the cycle of abuse lead to misplaced trust, but even when a victim knows the abuser will never stop, leaving, and the months following leaving, is the most dangerous time. How to leave and keep the kids safe? So many don't have resources, and waiting lists to get into shelters are long, and so the victim is stuck, and the cycle continues. It's tragic that your sister has been again victimized by the system, and commendable that she is still committed to being the best parent she can be. Sorry for going off on another tangent, but I do wish your sister luck.
Anyway I hope something changes in society to help with these problems. So many kids need better than what they are getting.
For example, after my daughter was born money was tighter, of course. I applied for EVERYTHING (food stamps, medi-cal, any assistance). I was told i made too much to qualify for anything, but if i quit my job they could give me everything.
If someone is actually trying to make a living and give their child a good life, wouldn't you be more likely to help that person instead of someone who wants to live on welfare and doesn't even try to care for their children?
On the matter of parents who have children with disabilities.. I don't even know where to start. It goes both ways with me.
I can understand not knowing how to take care of a special needs child and getting upset and frustrated. Having programs out there to help them is awesome! And now they have a choice: the parents who decide to learn more about taking care of their child are the parents who love and will give anything for their child; that's how things are supposed to be.
Then, in the opposite direction, you have the parents who couldn't care less and who, i feel, are selfish. Also, with the added stress factor of a child with special needs, are very likely to result to abuse and lash out (emotionally or physically). Those parents do not deserve the angels that were given to them.
Special needs children have a very special place in my heart. My cousin has autism and the only way he can communicate is by clapping and cooing noises, but even at age 9 he is the most intellectual person i have ever seen or met. He truly loves with all of his heart and understands the most important things that life provides!
I do have a soft spot for abused and battered women as well. When i was around 6 or 7, my mom was involved with a man who was VERY abusive physically towards her (beatings every single day) until one day i decided i couldn't see her like that any longer. I ran to a neighbors house and they called police. I don't even think he realized i was gone. It was very hard for us to get away from him afterwards. He was only in jail over night and we had no money and nowhere to go (he didn't allow mom to work). We finally did get away from him and come to find out:: He moves in down the street from my house about 3 years ago. One day i'm coming home and see the most horrific crime scene in his yard; he stabbed his girlfriend over 20 times in the front yard and went on the run. I called my mom crying (then she lived about 4,000 miles away) and told her that could have been her and thank goodness we got away!
Sorry about going on and on, but the point i'm trying to make is that people do have different stresses in their lives and you see it worse and worse each day. Life gets rough, but it should never result in hurting innocent children or neglecting them.
I'm hoping the same about things changing in a way that provides more possibilities for people who need help, but you will always have those people that just don't want it and don't care.
I'm glad your you and your mom got away from her boyfriend. People like him need to be locked up to protect the innocent. The data on treatment for abuses isn't very encouraging, so in my opinion, don't give them a chance to do it again.
Your cousin sound wonderful. I generally work with kids on the spectrum, and they've taught me tons about not stereotyping anyone based on a condition. So many of these kids are brilliant! I am constantly amazed at their learning. What I've learned the most though, is that their personalities are just as unique and beautiful as anyone else's. Autism is not a personality; it's not who they are. It's just a small part about them, like the color of your hair is a small part of you. Their real personalities are there, if you can make the connection. Truly beautiful kids.
Anyway, I'm really enjoying this conversation. If you ever want to, please feel free to email me directly :)
When my kids were that young, I was afraid to walk 100 feet to the mailbox with them alone in the house.
There's too many childless parents waiting to adopt for children to end up injured or dead because of stupidity.
You are an AMAZING woman! I cannot even tell you enough how great it is for you to be that person in their lives who made them feel wanted and loved. Sometimes foster parents are far greater than biological ones. It only takes one to change a life. I have a lot of respect for you!
-Heaven